


Early Adulthood Epiphany

by praeeunt



Category: Warm Bodies - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Sweet, mild suggestive implications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3142673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/praeeunt/pseuds/praeeunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>R was always the philosophical one in the relationship, but the inevitability of death is something that affects everybody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Early Adulthood Epiphany

It only really hits Julie just how utterly _living_ R is when they’re in a circumstance she’d rather be focusing on other things.

It occurs to her that she’s being silly and kind of pointless, and that right now it should be the _moment_ and the _moment_ only, but she can’t help but notice his quiet, yet heavy breathing against her face and think _wow._

With one hand on his waist and the other lingering against his arm, her fingers brush against his bare skin, and it’s so _warm_. She loses control of her hands, finds herself playing imaginary piano tunes on his shoulder, and the sweat beneath her fingertips only pulls her thoughts out further.

She can feel his heart beating. Each _thump_ against his ribcage resonates through her, a quick, uneven rhythm like the bass line of a song. And in the midst of touches and gentle kisses, for the first time, Julie fully understands _life_ in all its depressing glory, and her breathing quickens.

All at once, she finds herself acutely aware of everything, and the party her senses are throwing bring her focus out into an unreachable, exclusive third world, where she can hear the blood cells swimming.

He has _blood,_ that warm, red liquid, flowing through capillaries and veins and arteries in an infinite cycle, pumping his heart like a machine, and she can _hear_ his chest rising and falling with every inhale, lungs thrusting out and sucking in air because he _needs_ it now, to _survive,_ and the idea of dependency both thrills and terrifies her.

And he has skin that bleeds and has pores and glands that produce sweat – _his messy black hair is so damp –_ and fragile bones that bend and break, but will always _heal_ in some way or another.

And a brain, god, R’s brain. Filled with thoughts and ideas too intricate and wild for her to even begin to understand, filled with questions she will never be able to answer, and feelings too complex for her to ever feel. His brain that gave him that little spark of life, that made him more than just Living, that little spark of life he had even when he was Dead.

Suddenly, she finds herself hesitating, going still, because she wants so badly to savour this moment and let it linger.

One day, whether they want it or not, the blood will reach a dead end, go thick, and dry up in those arteries, and the heart will stop beating and lie still, and the lungs will fill with dry, musty air, and they will be dead, just not Dead this time. And their lifeless shells will be buried deep in the ground, and the Life that they now hold will be passed on to a new child, that, in the end, shares the same fate.

And no matter how content they are to hold each other and lie there in this moment, their fate has been decided from the start, and the price of having Life is that it will always, _always_ , be taken from you.

Julie must have gone very still against him, because R slowly pulls back, his hands on her face, and searches her eyes carefully. “Julie?” he ventures, his voice soft, and slightly concerned.

“Mm?” she absently responds after a few moments, though her eyes are lingering on the prominent line of his jaw.

“Are you okay?”

His question taking a moment before it clicks properly, she shakes her head dismissively, mumbling, “N- no, it’s nothing, just-”

She falters.

R just blinks, patiently waiting for her continuation, despite his confusion.

“You,” she finishes eventually, gesturing vaguely with her hands to his general being.

He raises his brow, lazily pointing to his chest. “Me,” he repeats, and she can’t tell whether it’s a question or a statement, but his voice is restrained with uncertainty.

“It doesn’t matter,” she flushes, scrunching up her face as if confused with herself. “It was nothing.”

His vibrant blue eyes never once leave her features, and he still looks as if he doesn’t believe her, but he shrugs nevertheless and says, “Okay.”

Julie nods in agreement, ignoring the shrug, and wraps her arms around his neck. “Okay, right.” She breathes in slightly. Her words are slow and articulate. “Continue.”

The corners of R’s lips are tugged upwards slightly in a bemused smile, but he nods too, sucking in a deep breath. Searching her eyes again, he gently slides his fingers into the hair above her ear, and inclines his head forwards, slowly. Julie smiles, and closes her eyes.

And then he snorts at the last minute, averting the kiss by burying his face into her shoulder, his back quivering with silent laughter. Julie thumps his shoulder lightly, whining, “R!”

He’s still sniggering and grinning when he tentatively raises his head a few seconds later, saying, “Sorry, it’s just, nothing, i- it’s just-”

Oh no. He wasn’t.

“-You.” He gestures to her.

Julie glares at him. _“R!”_

R swallows, still grinning, before forcing the smile off his face and frowning. “Okay. Sorry. I’ll be serious now. Serious.”

At the solemn look on his face, she can’t help but snort too, and as he attempts at leaning forward again she hangs her head back with laughter, causing him to groan and let his head to fall to her shoulder again. “Oh my god,” she exclaims, shaking with mirth and giggles, giddy with the ridiculousness of the situation. “It was just- y- your _face.”_

She feels his lips form into a smile against her collarbone, but as he sits up his face is expectant, as if waiting for her to elaborate. She’s still shaking her head. “Oh god, it was just,” she looks at him, pouting and furrowing her brow with the most outlandish expression she could muster, chiding, “Mr Grumpy Face.”

He has to splutter at that, unable to contain his amusement. His laughter, though, is far quieter and more restrained than Julie’s, as he shakes his head and utters, “We can’t do this.”

“No,” she agrees, brushing her lips against his cheekbone with a suppressed giggle. “Who needs that, though, right?” Her arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer, nestling her chin into the crook of his neck. One hand stroking slowly up and down his spine, the other resting on his shoulders and playing fondly with his hair, she throws a sly glance up at him even though he can’t see her.

“Umm, sure,” he consents, although she detects a trace of sarcasm in his tone. Rolling her eyes and grinning, her hands go still and she tightens her grip on him.

She says no more.

A few hours later, when they’re lying on Julie’s bed, her hand on his chest and his arm supporting her, R is doing that thing again where he could be asleep and he could just be thinking, and Julie comments matter-of-factly, “You used to be Dead.”

He blinks an eye open and studies her, shifting beneath her hand. “I used to be dead,” he confirms. She can feel the low vibrations through his skin that his speech caused, and she shivers.

“And now you’re not.” Her voice is quiet, and questioning, like a child, as she tilts her head to look at him.

After pausing, the statement lingering in the air, he tenses his shoulders and rolls onto his side, facing her with a hand on her waist and a grunt. “Are you okay?” he asks again, his voice ever concerned, but with a slightly condescending, ‘You’re acting weird’ edge to it.

“I’m fine,” she insists. “It’s just...”

She pulls him closer, closing her eyes and resting her head gently on his shoulder. “You.”


End file.
